If you and your girlfriends are planning to ditch the boys and babies for a week, I say head to Tahiti. With a few insider tips you can be living it up without it costing a fortune (or your marriage).

Here are some ideas of how to spend a week in gorgeous Tahiti:

The infinity pool at Manava

Days 1, 2, 3: Fly into Papeete and stay at Manava Suites. They’re brand spanking new, right on the ocean looking out to Moorea and very good value. Each suite has a kitchenette which means you can go to the nearby supermarket and get gooey French cheeses and plenty of French red wine… ahh.

Le Marche, Papeete

But for fresh fish and produce, head to Le Marche in the town of Papeete. It’s no posh nosh, but it is full of locally grown and produced veges, fruit and seafood. Plus it’s stocked on 2 levels with sarongs (pareos), mother of pearl and oyster shell jewellery, vanilla beans and loads of gorgeous massage oils from vanilla or the tiare flower. There’s little knicky knacky things like baskets, bags and coconut bikini tops to buy and just people watching here will take at least an hour.

Buy ready made or whip yourself up something like this

If it’s the black pearl you’re after, don’t buy them here though – they’re most likely volcanic rock polished to look like pearls and not the real deal (although I quite like the metallic look and they make great little stocking stuffers for daughters). Instead go to the Pearl Market just down the road from Le Marche. The Tahitian black pearl is unique to this part of the world and comes in hues of pink, green, blue and gold and this is where you can pick up a gorgeous memento of your trip. You’ll find 3 floors of varying priced pearls from perfect orbs to seconds (and thirds). You can design your own piece of jewellery or choose one ready-made from the pearls of varying price and quality that come from the farms around the islands. I selected five odd-shaped thirds and had them threaded onto a a piece of leather to make a lanyard-style necklace for about $100.

For a cheap and cheerful dinner with the girls, you must head to Le Roulottes. I bang on about this place every time I write about Tahiti, but it’s well worth going to for a bit of vibe and an affordable dinner. At night this place by the port in downtown Papeete becomes a mobile outdoor food market with caravans sizzling up all sorts of delights from mahi mahi and tuna to pizza, crepes and hamburgers. Funny plastic tables are set up and the service is very, ummm, minimal. But for under NZ$25 you’ll have a tasty meal and depending on what night of the week you’re here, there will be live music and even a little dancing.

If you can drag yourself away from the infinity pool at Manava Suites, there’s plenty to do on the mainland of Tahiti during the day. Visit the Paul Gaugin museum and see his prints and a few originals (and hear saucy stories of him coming to Tahiti having been spurned by Van Gogh and spreading syphilis around the islands). If you have the energy, take a tour and hike through the jungle to waterfalls in the interior. If it’s Sunday head to one of the Polynesian churches to soak up a bit of hallelujah sung by a choir of angels. Or just lounge by the pool, read a book, sip on a glass with an umbrella in it and plan to go for dinner just a short walk from Manava Suites to an ocean front bar and restaurant (if you’re not dining at their own restaurant, that is).

A little bit of lovely at Legends Moorea

Days 5, 6 & 7: Take a ferry on the 20km voyage to Moorea (about $45 return) and stay at Legends Resort in their 1, 2 or 3 bedroom villas. They also have self-catering options with a fancy kitchen if you feel like baching it with your own private deck and soaking in your jacuzzi of an evening. If not, you can just schmooze on over to one of the restaurants.

By day you can hire a car or scooters and circle the 60km road wrapping around Moorea, stopping at little beaches and lagoons and visiting pearl farms. I find pearl farming fascinating, so if you’re anything like me and just have to know how things are made, then go on a visit and watch the delicate craft of inserting tiny marbles into the oyster with a slither of oyster ‘meat’ that will tint it with a mother of pearl hue over the next couple of years deep down in the sea.

If you’re wanting a Moorea memento (and are brave enough) get a tattoo! Here on Moorea is one of the only traditional tattooists around who uses the original tapping method. James Samuela and his American wife have a little homestay on their property too and people come from far and wide to get a tat from James who was trained in France and by elders in Tahiti. He also does the electric ink ones. Go on!

Another thing I’d do on Moorea is book a motu (island) picnic where a topless Tahitian bloke makes fresh poisson cru (raw fish salad) in front of you using fresh fish and a coconut he bashes down from a nearby tree. I just love this dish, mixed with tomatoes, cucumber, lime juice and salt and served with crusty French bread.

Also, across the road from Legends is the Intercontinental and they have a dolphin aquarium which is worth a visit. The pools are actually part of the ocean and several of their dolphins are retired US navy ‘seals’. I’m not kidding! These dolphins used to detect bombs on ships for the US navy and now live the life of luxury in Tahiti and you can get in their pools and watch them, touch them, kiss them, etc.

Helene Spa is also located at the Intercontinental and is the best one I’ve been to in Tahiti. The oils, salts and scrubs are made with local ingredients (vanilla, tiare, coconut, mango…) and they have a private rock pool with a warm waterfall that you can soak in before your treatment in a petal bath or massage in an outdoor hut. Divine.

Jump here for special packages to Manava Suites, including flights from Auckland. And here for Legends Resort Moore including flights.

I just saw the movie Couples Retreat (with the spunky Vince Vaughn) last night which is set on the idyllic Tahitian island of Bora Bora. It was hilarious. I’m not one to laugh outloud in movies, but this one had me audibly gaffawing.

Yes Bora Bora is designed by God for couples, but sometimes the lure of a trip to an overwater bungalow – even if you’re not a couple – is too hard to resist…

Even the water sports are designed for 2!

I was invited by Tahiti Tourisme to visit and I certainly wasn’t about to let the lack of companion hold me back! But the bottom line is this: everyone arrives on Bora Bora in pairs. It’s like Noah’s Ark. I was the only soloist at breakfast at the Bora Bora Lagoon Resort and Spa and all eyes fell upon me as they murmured their speculation that I must have surely been jilted at the altar but thought, bugger it, I’m going on my honeymoon anyway.

In fact a lady did just that here recently and instead of moping in sadness at her sudden single status on this island of love, she had a ball and did all the excursions she and her clearly undeserving ex had planned.

You and your true will love this

Bora Bora is the name of the gigantic lagoon encompassing several islands and also the name of the largest island in the centre which you can go on jungle hikes over and around. If you can picture one of those kitsch chip-n-dip bowls – that’s what Bora Bora originally looked like. The volcanic crater (where God’s chips went) is slowly sinking over millennia, but what is left of the inner ‘dip bowl’ is where the main island of Bora Bora is. The outer rim of the reef is dotted with islands so small that they don’t even feature on a world map.

The airport sits on one such island, barely big enough for a landing strip where boats glide into piers beside the luggage rack while resort personnel locate their guests and mark them with their hotel’s personal lei. Once the bags were loaded we hurtled across the lagoon to dots on the horizon that turned out to be the thatched roofs of over-water bungalows – and yes coffee tables with glass tops so you can peer at the fish below.

Bora Bora airport

So enchanted by the fish I was, that I donned the provided snorkel and goggles in my room, climbed down my ladder and went swimming with them, looking up into my room through the clever coffee table.

A free boat takes you across to Vaitape Pier every hour. There is a craft market here selling handmade pearl and shell jewellery and colourful sarongs. The single road that wraps around the island is edged with more souvenir shops and expensive jewellers selling Tahitian black pearls in handmade settings. I declined a trip to the Pearl Farm after I met several new husbands who had bejewelled their princesses in pearls and bought matching leather strapped pearl chokers for themselves. Instead I spent the afternoon snorkelling with stingrays and ogling tropical fish with three loved-up couples. And like Vince Vaughn and Jason Bateman, I too swam with sharks. They may be harmless reef sharks but it is quite hard to set that straight in your brain for the first little bit!

It’s magic out here and everyone should try and make it – even if Vince isn’t with you…

If you’re an ink fan then you’ll LOVE the real deal – a tattoo by one of Tahiti’s last remaining traditional tattooists, James Samuela at Moorea Tattoo.

Head out to Moorea (20km from Papeete and about NZ$45 round trip on the ferry) to Haapiti on the west side of the island where you’ll find James and his American wife Laurel. Their studio is a humble hut and their home even more so, but in the front of the property is a gorgeous villa that they rent out to tourists as a little side business.

Ok, now I’m all distracted by the villa – we’ll get to the tattooing in a minute. James and his mates made Te Nunoa Bungalow, with the cute thatched roof, themselves and it’s like a magical hideaway across the road from a stunning white sand beach. You get use of kayaks, bicycles, snorkelling kit, an outrigger caneo and a bbq. Inside – while the ceiling is high and made of local timber, they haven’t spared the mod cons with a fully equipped kitchen, TV, DVD, iPod dock, sumptuous king size bed and 2 twin beds that can also be used for a family. The bathroom is the piece de resistance and plush white towels make this spot a little slice of heaven away from the tourist trap.

Ok, back to the body art… James is one of the only traditional tattooists left in Tahiti. He’s a descendant of the very first tattoo artists from the Marquesas and studied the art extensively, even training in Paris. He hand makes the tools for each client (which they can keep) and if you know anything about traditional tattoo you’ll know that intricate, curvy little designs are very hard to achieve, but with James’ fancy tools even the tiniest turtle can be hammered onto a naked back. He’s not as covered in tatts as you’d expect either, and Laurel confessed that James’ hadn’t even done hers. But while I was there a mate of theirs (and member of Tahitian royalty I overheard) dropped in and he’s definitely got the mark of James on him.

James working with the machine. The hammer is a whole nother deal!

For info on anything and everything Tahiti, check out Tahiti Tourisme.

Getting around Papeete is fun if you take Le Truck. This bus (which is literally a truck with 2 bench seats down each side) costs about 200 CFP each way into town (about $2.70) and they run all night. The whole family is usually sitting in the cab – dad driving and mum and a couple of kids hanging out the window taking the money while a toddler sleeps with its head on the dashboard. No such thing as seatbelts over here.

Each evening down at the port in Papeete is the roulottes (French for caravans). And each one cooks up fresh and delicious food like mahi mahi, tuna, steak, crepes, pizza, Chinese. It’s a matter of browsing along them all, trying to make out what the blackboard menus say in French, looking at the photos displayed and plonking yourself down at a table with plastic stools. I ordered a tuna steak with frites and peppercorn sauce. (They’re big on roquefort cheese here too, but it’s disgusting!) My fish came to 1200 Tahitian francs, (about $12 US – $16 NZ?).

Live music often accompanies your dinner down here, and afterwards you can wander across the road to find a local bar for a drink. I loved the sight and sound of the impromptu band that had set up outside one bar with a guitar, ukulele, coke bottles filled with rice, spoons for percussion and a plastic drum turned upside down with a pole and a piece of rope for the bass guitar. Order a local Hinano beer and immerse yourself into Tahiti time…

BBQ at the Papeete roulottes

As part of my Tahiti on the Cheap story I’m writing for the NZ Herald, I whizzed around the local supermarket in Papeete to compare prices. And I say baloney to all those people who say Tahiti’s soooo expensive!

I mean if you’re not going to venture out of your resort and just consume cocktails at the bar, then sure. But if you go for a look around and especially if you stay in a hotel with a kitchen (like the brand spanking Manava Suite Resort in Papeete) then you can shop at the HUGE Carrefour supermarket (it sells everything from shoes to TV sets and groceries) for gooey French cheese from about US$3 for a wedge, a fresh baguette for $2. Hinano beers (the local brew) are about $2 a can and I bought a nice bottle of French red for about US$17. (I find it easier to convert 1700 Polynesian French Francs (CFP) to US$17 than do all the calculations and take away the number you first of for the Kiwi $.)

I went to the Papeete market (Le Marche) in the morning and could have bought fresh tuna even cheaper than the supermarket, but suffice to say a huge piece – big enough for sashimi for 10 people – is under US$7. The market opens at 5am til 5pm and early is best, although 4pm is when the fishermen arrive with their daily catch.

So this way, save a little on eating out and spend your money on black pearls, SCUBA diving trips, upgrade to an overwater bungalow or organise a private motu picnic and make Tahiti the holiday you’ve always dreamed about.

This slab of fresh tuna is 670 CFP ($US6.70)

Note: this post does not apply to the Masterton Big Wednesday winners.

Tahiti has a reputation for being expensive and you can certainly do the whole 5-star overwater bungalow, posh dinners and phenomenal diving trips to far away beaches. But if you want to take advantage of the cheap airfares to Tahiti and stay in a brand spanking and stunning, self-catering property where you can cook your own dinner fresh from the market, eat gooey French cheeses and fresh baguettes and quaff some cheap French wine – then you can.

I’ve just come back from 3 whistle-stop days on Papeete staying at the Manava Suite Resort. This brand new apartment-style hotel has most rooms with kitchens (including all the mod cons) and is only 100m from a bottle store so you can nip out and get yourself a little happy hour sustenance before dinner.

They have their own restaurant but if you want to try something more local, wander 500m down the road where you can sit on a humble wooden deck with the ocean lapping underneath.

A bus – or more accurately a truck with 2 bench seats down each side – will take you into downtown Papeete. It’s about 15 mins away so I suggest you go in about mid-afternoon after a day lazing by the Manava Suites stunning infinity pool, hit the pearl market and drink a Hinano beer at one of the local bars, then eat at the Roulottes. This is an area at the port where caravans come in at night, fling their sides open and cook fresh and fast food like tuna steaks, pizza, Chinese, crepes for about NZ$20. Nightclubs rock till about 3am so after dinner put your dancing shoes on and practice your dance moves.

Taking the ferry to Moorea is also a fun (and inexpensive – under NZ$20 one way) thing to do. About 45 mins and you’re there. I suggest you hire a car to go exploring but if you want to splash out and treat yourselves, organise a picnic lunch on a motu (island) through the Intercontinental Hotel. You’ll love the fresh poisson cru (fish with lime, fresh coconut milk cracked open in front of you and tossed with onions and tomatoes). Sopped up with fresh crispy baguettes and you;ll think you’ve died and gone to heaven. You can also swim with dolphins here – AND these ones are retired navy “seals”. They used to work for the US navy detecting bombs in ships. True!

View from my room at Manava Suites

Ahh the luxury